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It is hard to imagine my parents as I see them there, beneath palm trees, camera-ready smiles, gutted pineapples studded with pink umbrellas in their hands.“I’ve wanted to visit before the massive invasion of pasty white baby-boomer Midwest-American chubbers ruined the perfect picture of Havana I had built up in my head,” Webb writes in Men’s Journal.“Plus, as any warm-blooded male is wont to do, I had visions of rescuing some beautiful mixed Russian-Cuban girl with green eyes and a sexy accent.One picture in particular is kept hidden on the very last page: my mother wrapped in linens, dark hair tousled, shoulders tan and bare, smile almost forced, still thick with sleep.

Beside the bed is a chair on which a white sheet lays crumpled and marked by a shock of red at the very center—a bulls-eye.I would steal her away from the grips of Cuba’s failed blend of communist-run socialism and bring her back to the city — proof to all my guy friends that dating foreign women is actually the key to happiness for American men.